Is Your Highly Sensitive Teen Getting Lost In A Sea Of Emotions?
Is your teenager highly sensitive, emotionally reactive and easily affected by other’s energy and moods? Is your teen highly intuitive, often able to read your mind or overly empathetic to the emotional distress of others? Do you worry when your teen’s lack of emotional boundaries causes him or her to act out, experience heightened stress and/or become exceedingly stimulated? Does your child, while bright and perhaps academically gifted, struggle in school? Maybe your teen is easily distracted and finds it difficult to focus and stay on task. Or, perhaps social situations and peer relationships are challenging because of your teen’s heightened sensitivity. Do transitions between tasks, locations or ideas in conversation cause your teen distress? Or, does your child seem consumed by everyone else’s feelings? Do you sometimes wonder if your teen is experiencing so much emotion that it’s leading to anxiety or depression? Do you wish you better understood your child’s experience and had the knowledge and tools to best support, soothe and guide him or her?
Parenting a highly sensitive teen can be a frustrating, confusing and demanding experience. Teens who are highly sensitive, emotional and intuitive can be challenging to understand. They often struggle with appropriate emotional boundaries, become easily overwhelmed and may be prone to emotional outbursts. Their intuition and ability to “feel” the energy of others may be so developed that some of these teens literally hear, see or internalize things that others cannot access. Many highly sensitive teens also struggle to stay focused and grounded, and their emotions often vacillate drastically and quickly, which can create difficulties in school and in relationships. And, you may struggle to parent or even relate with your teen, especially if you are unfamiliar with the ways that highly sensitive people experience the world.
Many Teenagers Struggle With Heightened Sensitivity
I’ve seen an increase in highly sensitive people – especially highly sensitive teenagers – in my practice in recent years. Unfortunately, the messages in our culture and society often tell us that being overly sensitive is a bad thing. I disagree. A heightened sensitivity allows people to connect with others on deeper levels and bring more compassion, empathy and creativity into their relationships. That said, for many teenagers, being highly sensitive is often both a great gift and an enormous challenge. While the ability to sense the emotions of others is an asset, when teenagers “over feel” and absorb the emotional heaviness of those around them, they can easily become triggered, overwhelmed and emotionally reactive.
Navigating the teenage years is challenging for most, if not all, teenagers. And, these years can be increasingly difficult for those who are highly intuitive, sensitive and empathetic. If your teen is noticeably affected by other’s moods, highly reactionary, prone to isolation or acting out or is revealing symptoms of depression or anxiety, an experienced therapist can provide insight, guidance and relief.
Therapy Can Help Your Highly Sensitive Teenager Develop Emotional Boundaries, Maintain Balance And Navigate A Healthy Path Forward
Many highly sensitive teenagers have little to no idea why they think, feel and internalize things so intensely. They may feel different and/or isolated from others and struggle to understand why. This is where therapy can be highly effective. In sessions, your teen can begin to understand who he or she is, why he or she is so acutely impacted by the feelings and energy of others, and how to operate in the world with greater peace and ease. Oftentimes, just naming a highly sensitive teen’s experience can bring so much relief. Once your teen increases this self-awareness and understands that being highly sensitive is both a gift and a challenge, your teen can begin to better navigate all aspects of his or her life.
Along with developing heightened self-awareness, your teen can also begin working on creating energetic boundaries. Your teen can become mindful of the impact of external energy and learn how to become more grounded and attentive to boundaries. Your teen can start asking questions about what is his or hers to take on versus what is okay to let go. This seemingly simple practice can balance out the highs and lows of the emotional roller coaster than many highly sensitive teens struggle to get off of. In sessions, I can also help your teen can identify and build on strengths, which can increase self-esteem. Your teen can explore healthy ways to manage stress and process difficult thoughts and feelings. I can provide your teen with tools and techniques to maintain calm and balance and self-soothe when intense emotions arise.
With the help of an experienced and compassionate therapist, your child can navigate the teenage years with more ease. Your teenager can come to see his or her sensitivity as an important gift. While there will always be bumps in the road, developing self-awareness, setting and maintaining healthy emotional boundaries and learning effective ways to navigate challenges now can set your child up for sustained future success.
I think that my teenager could benefit from counseling, but I still have questions and concerns…
How do I know if my child is “highly sensitive?”
You know your child best. If you suspect that your child is highly sensitive, you are likely right. If you’re still unsure, however, a great resource is Dr. Elaine Aron, the author of “The Highly Sensitive Person.” Her website offers online questionnaires that may help. A consultation with a therapist who specializes in highly sensitive teenagers can also provide insight and information. An experienced therapist can determine if your teen truly is highly sensitive or if something else, such as depression or anxiety, is impacting your child’s ability to feel good and function well.
Therapy sounds like is could be helpful, but I’m concerned about cost and how much time it will take.
If your child is really struggling with heightened sensitivity and it’s impacting his or her ability to focus, find balance within relationships and self-regulate emotions, it’s unlikely these challenges will go away without help. It’s important that highly sensitive teenagers develop a solid internal compass and learn how to create healthy boundaries. Left unchecked, these teens are more susceptible to depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol use and other self-harming behaviors. A time and financial investment into therapy now can help you teen identify healthy coping strategies, develop effective life navigation tools and avoid unneeded discomfort and challenges in the future.
I’m not sure that I can convince my teen to try therapy.
Many teens recoil at the idea of therapy, which doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t or don’t need to go! If your teen is really struggling, be firm and tell him or her that therapy is not negotiable. While it’s your job to get your teen to therapy, it’s my job to help him or her feel comfortable and open up once in my office.
I invite you to call me for a free 15-minute consultation to discuss your teen’s specific needs and to answer any questions about highly sensitive teenagers and my practice.